Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

Never order food in excess of your body weight.

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood.

Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.