Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.

One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone.

I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

Hello there. I'm out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you're anybody, I'll get back to you.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.