Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.

In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.

Hello there. I'm out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you're anybody, I'll get back to you.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.