Never accept a drink from a urologist.

I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.

Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.

If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

He who laughs.....lasts.