He who laughs.....lasts.

What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood.

Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.

A child needs your love most when he deserves it least

When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

Someday, when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I'll tell them: I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home. ... I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover your friend was a creep. I loved you enough to make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it to a drugstore and confess, 'I stole this.' ... But most of all I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.