I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.