I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.

Every puppy should have a boy.

Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.

My idea of 'roughing it' is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.

Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.