Never have more children than you have car windows.
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.
You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
A child needs your love most when he deserves it least