It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Erma BombeckI was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her "before" picture.
Erma BombeckPhrases and their actual meanings: My teacher has never liked me. Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly.
Erma BombeckThe odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
Erma Bombeck