A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

Success is outliving your failures

There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.