A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.

Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.

My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!

I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were 'room service.

I became hysterical and frightened and begged for sedation. And that was just the first prenatal visit.