I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.

The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.

Hello there. I'm out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you're anybody, I'll get back to you.

If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want tAdenauer to want the job.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.