It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?

Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.