It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.

Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.

What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.