How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.

I have finally mastered what to do with the second tennis ball. Having small hands, I was becoming terribly self-conscious about keeping it in a can in the car while I served the first one. I noted some women tucked the second ball just inside the elastic leg of their tennis panties. I tried, but found the space already occupied by a leg. Now, I simply drop the second ball down my cleavage, giving me a chest that often stuns my opponent throughout an entire set.

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.