Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.

When humor go's, there go's civilization.

The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.

Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.