I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then we spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out how we can reverse the process.

Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their body.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.

I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.

Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother, and dog. If someone wanted to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, he would refuse until he had been formally introduced.

We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, 'He wants his mother.'