I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.

I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.

When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.

Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.