One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.

Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in First." I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this.

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.

We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, 'He wants his mother.'

I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were 'room service.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Do I have to use my own money?