I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

Cats invented self-esteem.

With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.

The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going going to drop?

Laugh now, cry later.