I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Hello there. I'm out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you're anybody, I'll get back to you.

The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.

If I had my life to live over I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.