All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.

Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.

Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.

Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.

A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.