Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.

Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on the face of every lawyer I've ever met.

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to hang onto youth. I feel sorry for the men, too.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?