When humor go's, there go's civilization.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.

I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.

Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.

Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon one of the most overrated events in the world.

Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's treading water.