Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.

Occasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

The term 'working mother' is redundant.

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.

If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?