You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.

If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

Housework can kill you if done right.

Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's treading water.