The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from, Mommy?" They will range from "Number 176 vial in Buffalo, New York," to "You were defrosted."

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.