In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma BombeckOccasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.
Erma BombeckWhat does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?
Erma Bombeck