A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.

Many people are intimidated by doctors. ... People also feel stupid when they don't understand what a doctor's talking about the first time around, so they don't ask again. And let's be honest here, people. English is not a doctor's first language.

Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.