Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.

It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.

Myths that need clarification: "No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears." False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.

I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.

I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.