After age twelve, birthdays should be as private as hernia surgery.

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.

I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.

My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!

The term 'working mother' is redundant.

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.