Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.

We even switched to a newly-formed church across the town that gave one hundred and twenty trading stamps each time we attended. (We now worship a brown and white chicken with a sunburst on its chest.)

You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love.

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.