Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

For some unexplained reason, it's always the other end of the table that's wild and raucous, with screaming laughter and a fella who plays 'Holiday for Strings' on water glasses.

It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.

God created man, but I could do better.