For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'.

My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.

I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her "before" picture.