For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.