Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to hang onto youth. I feel sorry for the men, too.

I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.

Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.