I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.

I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.