House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to hang onto youth. I feel sorry for the men, too.
After age twelve, birthdays should be as private as hernia surgery.
I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?