Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'

Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.

Do I have to use my own money?