Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.

Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.

... it's simply wrong to always order [kids] to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his rights and damned well should be fighting.

Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.

Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.

The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.