Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.

You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.

It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Laugh now, cry later.

In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.