Pregnancy is the only time in a woman's life she can help God work a miracle.

I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.

Authorities say brain cells may shrink, but they don't necessarily die. Frankly, I am cheered by the fact that something is shrinking. I'd be even more thrilled if what was shrinking affected my dress size, but you can't have everything.

If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.

I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.

It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.