It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.