It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.

Pregnancy is the only time in a woman's life she can help God work a miracle.

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.

I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.