You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.

I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.

A child needs your love most when he deserves it least