If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.
Erma BombeckExplain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
Erma BombeckThere's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck