Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their body.

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.

Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.

One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.

A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.