Cats invented self-esteem.

One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.

On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.