Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

Never order food in excess of your body weight.

Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, "Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.

I used everything you gave me.