My idea of 'roughing it' is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.

What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going going to drop?

Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.

It's frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style.