There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

He who laughs.....lasts.

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.

There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.

Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.

Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.