There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.

I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.

Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.

Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.