Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.