She's as funny as a toothache

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults say this to children I look into their faces. They look like someone on the top seat of the Ferris wheel who has had too much cotton candy and barbecue. They'd like to get off and be sick but everyone keeps telling them what a good time they're having.

There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.