She's as funny as a toothache

Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.

There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.

One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.