Of course, to avoid getting stuck in that convo with someone you dislike or feel uncomfortable around, don't be passive, be proactive. Do not let them direct your interaction on their terms, do it on yours. Ask a Misdirection Question--something too difficult to answer quickly--e.g., 'What's Congress up to?' or 'You ever learn any cool science?' When you ask the question, don't make eye contact, keep moving and get out of there. Do not wait for a response and deny ever asking it. Repeat these actions until you are never again spoken to by that individual (about four times).

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right.

Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.

I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.

I don't think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.

God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.