Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.
Eugene MirmanI forget, is freedom of speech when it's legal to say what you want or is it when it has no consequences for some reason?
Eugene MirmanIf things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.
Eugene MirmanProm night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that popular kids do because they are boring people with porcelain hearts who don't know what it means to be lonely. But you're wrong. Prom is a chance for everyone to try oral sex. Go for it.
Eugene Mirman