A lot of the things I do are the sort of things I think are funny.

If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

You can do anything you want, as long as it works.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

It's weird - the cab driver is playing very loud dance music and yet it doesn't really feel like a party.

You just can't make up random information and say it sarcastically and have it make sense. You can't just be like, 'I went out on a date with a Jewish girl. She was more rude than a wolfcat - an animal I've made up and decided is rude.

Some tips for life: 1.Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2.Be kind to people. 3.Don't get too excited when you read the Fountainhead 4.In times of recession, it is time for invention. 5.Things can kill you, so keep that in mind, you fearless know it alls.