A lot of the things I do are the sort of things I think are funny.

I laugh at weird times - at good and bad things alike. I laugh simply when things are incongruous. It's not necessarily a judgment - as it is noticing the oddity of something.

I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.

Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?

There was one woman who had a giant sign and on it, it just said, 'America Is Better Than Abortion.' I think she meant that America was too good a place for the horror of abortion. But instead, it sounded like she had weighed both - the American spirit and getting an abortion and decided that American spirit better. I think it is a bad idea to have grammatically ambiguous protest signs.

I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.

Don't throw a baby at anything - even a burglar.