I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.

I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.

A lot of the things I do are the sort of things I think are funny.

Let's start anew. Life is goals - Purpose-Attempts - Struggle-Dreams and Accomplishmenties. It sounds confusing (my fault), but it's actually simple.

I can kill a dog in six ways. Five of them are throwing missiles at it.

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right.

You can do anything you want, as long as it works.