I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.

Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.

You are an alchemist who can turn six beers into an awkward three week relationship.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

Confidence is the key to virtually everything. It's just deciding that you're qualified because once you decide you're qualified, everything else becomes very easy.

You just can't make up random information and say it sarcastically and have it make sense. You can't just be like, 'I went out on a date with a Jewish girl. She was more rude than a wolfcat - an animal I've made up and decided is rude.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?